my existance

well..my life right now...could definitely be worse so im not upset. but I saw Christina's livejournal posts and im sure she'll see this too, but it wont be any news. she's upset still, a little mad at me because i called a week later to see how she was...(i dont normally find myself in these situations)...i guess it's easier for me to talk to her. i just got off the phone with Sean and we're goin forward with the concert, and making plans to do one with insight in the early summer to raise money for new housing in Haiti which im pumped about. we have eight songs and some worship ones that we're learning. the guys are really talented and excited to perform. hopefully we're gonna record in march to be able to sell cd's at the cromwell concert. we're gonna work on a band page too and a myspace which is also kinda exciting, just to see that things are happening. i have to remember to keep it as a spiritual journey and not get caught up in the worldly aspects of it all... im gonna leave it all in God's hands, everything, this girl (one of the titles of one of ours songs haha), the band, God himself, etc...

Current Mood: calm

im so bored, i go to Fairfield Prep and i don't have any homework, like two days in a row now, idk how that happens but i wont complain. just learned some new songs for guitar and refreshed my memory on piano somewhat. i love playing instruments, there's nothing like picking up a guitar and just playin out a song, or sitting down to a piano and playing something, its just a complete feeling. a philosophy of the Jesuits is that we have deep personal encounters with the divine when we get deep intellectually or mentally and it's so true. when you think about it, God created music: every cord, every melody, every note, sound, on key or off key, major or minor and when you start exploring them, you start exploring God: the same thing goes for science. most scientists believe in God aside from it being scientifically proven that he exists, they see the more complex side of the world and their experience of it tells them that there has to be something that created all of "this" because there is no way it could have just happened. anyway, im really happy i picked up guitar and piano. i have an audition tomorrow at Playhouse on the Green for "Little Shop of Horrors". i'd like either seymour or the dentist. the dentist would be much harder to play even though it's a less involved role, so i'll take either. then next week is dead man walking. i'd like to play matt but who knows, i have really hard competition. if i get it, then it would be a huge acheivement. my classes are awesome for the most part, i really couldnt have asked for a harder schedule. Mr. Sather is like the most relaxed guy ever yet im already learning alot from him, and he's a sick pianist, guitarist, and he plays the bass too i guess. so we listened to his band's stuff today in class, talked for 30 out of the 40 minutes of class about music and about his band..it wasjust awesome haha. im def. feeling consolation big time, everything seems to be going right-meaning something is gonna happen soon and it'll get all messed up, that's what God does anyway to keep us focused on im, so i'll humbly accept it. i guess this is it for now :)

Current Location: comp room
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Next Thing You Know

Heaven

Many times I have tried to conceive heaven. We’ve discussed it in theology also, which got very interesting. We discussed how, in heaven, there is kairos. That is, a circular time, never began, will never end. We also discussed how, on earth, we live in a chronos. The word “chronos” comes from the word “chronological” as in a daily time order, a beginning and an end. When we die, and hopefully are resurrected into heaven, we experience not coming back to life, but instead being born again into a new life. That is the difference many people don’t understand. Now I’ve also tried to conceive the pleasure of heaven, what’s so good about it? Back in the summer, St. Marks was looking for a new youth minister, so Fr. Don asked us at the St. James youth group to go out to dinner with this man named Michael from the Midwest. We talked about many things with this amazing man. One thing we discussed was heaven, who, what, when, where, how, why? We were all very curious as to how enjoyable heaven was. There are many, even simple pleasures on earth, but if heaven is a new life, chances are that those pleasures will not be there. That was just one of the thoughts we presented to Michael. Michael got us all to relax with a simple thought of truth. Michael told us to think of the best day we could possibly imagine, something so farfetched and wonderful (and clean of course) that just this one day could complete out near-century long life. So we all tried to imagine the best day we could possibly have, people came up with interesting days. Then Michael brought up the points in scripture where Jesus teaches about heaven, and how Jesus explained it. Heaven has to be better than the best day we could possibly have on earth, it just has to be. So imagine an everlasting day that is much greater than the best day physically possible on earth. That is why it is called heaven. Jesus’ promise is that it is worth sacrificing through your whole earthly life, living by God’s commandments, to finally get to in the end. Once you fall in love with God, following his commandments and requests aren’t so hard anymore, because he will reveal himself personally to someone who is in love with him, or at least sincerely trying. That’s why we’re required to have so much faith. God wants to see who really falls in love with him. And he needs us to help those who cannot see his power and amazing grace, and most importantly his love for us.

Current Location: comp room
Current Mood: hopeful
Current Music: The Hammer Holds

ok, seriously this time...

i figured i'd get a live jouranl since "eeeeverybody's doing it"
and i guess it will be fun.
all my posts are probably either gonna be out of boredom like the lastone, maybe sometimes more normal OR really deep and religious....don't judge me im unique lol

aiight

peace homeslizes

Current Location: comp room
Current Mood: content
Current Music: Glory Defined

my life sucks, sucks sucks. today...guess what?! all my friends, and allll my friends abandoned me! everysingle one of them, even my friends who moved to Istanbul called me up and said "hey asshole we're disowning you!!! im like "wtf man!" its like so darn weird that it happened in the same day!!! my life sucks sucks sucks...its official...it sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks!!!!!!!! life, life of michael herbert paul brelsford sucks!!!!! did i mention that my girlfriend broke up with me too!!! AND i got excommunicated! talk about "it sucks to be me"


is this what livejournal is for?

Current Location: garbage can with blanket and soup
Current Mood: nerdy
Current Music: kill everyone